WBLOG TV: The Meme

The place where unbloggable news happens and sources are never a secret. You are the creator, producer, writer and news anchor of the WBLOG nightly news. It is your job to deliver the news in your own style from your own blog.
And oh, you get to make up the news! Here's your assignment:

1. The Weather Channel: Give me your personality forecast. Are you sunny, wet, windy, or cloudy? Why?
Cloudy with a chance of rain tonight. Tomorrow, prepare for thundershowers - don't forget your umbrella and don't play in the puddles!

2. The News Channel: What is the breaking news story of the day in your world?
Girl found exhausted and hungry in lab after 11hour work shift chanting nonsense about DNA.

3. The Economic Channel: How are things on the economic front? And more importantly, do you have ideas to save the planet from financial ruin?
In financial news, the dollar has been stretched. How far will it go? Will it break? We will find out in tomorrow's newscast.

4. The Entertainment Channel: Give us the latest blog celebrity gossip. Dish it!
This evening's top entertainment stories:
More naked pictures of young actress! Did she know the cameras were rolling?
Man gives birth to twins! But who is the mother? Is he even the father?
Reality poll reveals shocking number of viewers against reality tv.

5. The Sports Channel: Make up a sport, give your team a name and choose five players from the list of names on the Mr. Linky list. What are the rules of the game?
Snow bowling. Uses a less dangerous ball. Take up the ball, and roll it across the ice to knock down the pins without breaking the ice.
The Freezing Nuts & Bolts. Don't get nuts stuck in/on/around the ball.

6. The Comedy Channel: How will you make us laugh today? Tell us a blunny (that's blog + funny for all you non-blog speakers)
I thought that was what the entertainment news were about.

7. The Religious Channel: Make up a blog religion. Tell us why your blog church will save our souls.
Come to the dark side... we have calorie-free chocolate cookies and flan.

8. (but who's counting?) The Soap Opera Channel: What is the name of your soap opera?
Smut & Lawlessness in a Suburban Neighbourhood with Insanely Hot, Wealthy People. Will that fit on a poster?