The Cooking Meme (What Is The Meaning of Thyme and Other Deep Questions)
1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do?
Actually put that damn thyme in the bottle and then thank the genie with the fairy dust for granting me that wish.
2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?
I always figured the nervous breakdown leads to the cracking. Or was it the other way around?
3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?
It laughed at the size of my thighs.
4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?
My spoons spoon in the drawer and yes I have noticed because I put them like that. The wooden spoons don't like to spoon so I lump them together with the chopsticks and spatulas.
5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open. Why did you close them?
Well I am not Dumpling of course, so after I yell at that dude outside to try the next house, I would like to have my moment with the fondue and Godiva without fear of Dumpling's little friend climbing in.
6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?
The Drunk Banana Rump. I'd save most of the Chardonnay to get the taste out later.
7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them. What did they say to get in hot water?
"I love sponge baths."
8. Is your pot black?
Some are black, some are not.
9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so?
Cinnamon, because it sweetens up my fruits.
10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?
No crock, just another pot.